We have all heard before that it isn't what happens to us, it is how we handle those trials. Or the famous saying, attitude is everything. All of the above is true. It isn't when the times are good that our true character is shown, it is in the midst of the challenge that reveals who we really are. A lump of coal would remain just that if someone, whom knowing exactly what that coal can turn into, and then carefully taking the necessary measures and time to put intense heat on it to reveal what it's true identity really is. Sand would be just plain ol sand if the heat wasn't turned on to it to create beautiful glass. So why then is it hard sometimes to remember that when the pressure is on us,meaning that we are undergoing a transformation process when life's challenges, experiences and trials are presented to us,that this is all but for our good? It isn't always easy to remember that that is how we become the sons and daughters of God that He desires and sees us being, and that it doesn't mean that we have necessarily done anything wrong or that we deserve those hardships, but it slowly begins to mold us in to who we are today and whom we desire to be.
I honestly have never asked why me. I don't know why, maybe I am just weird that way. (No comment please..lol). I am constantly told that I am way too young to be going thru what I am and have in my life... although I am not so sure that any age is a good age or bad age so to speak, to go thru hard things and as many as I have been asked to do... I know what they are saying though and it is taken in the right context. I am truly amazed at how much your eyes( especially mine...) tell all. I try so hard to put on a good face and smile and to have as best of an attitude during challenging times, but it never fails that someone will say that they can tell by just looking at my eyes that I am not my normal energetic, enthusiastic self and I look forward to returning to that more than you know! It has been almost 4 months since I have been able to attend Church, except for Christmas Day, and I miss it more than anything!! I miss the interactions with others, which if you are a social bug it is very hard to not be around people, don't get me wrong, I enjoy time alone but thrive off of being able to be around people. I miss the strength of each others testimonies and faith. This Sunday I plan on being there just long enough to take the Sacrament while kicking my feet up on the couch and then heading home. That will do wonders for me I am confident.
I know this too shall pass. I just want it to pass a little bit quicker than it is. I have a year under my belt and up to 7 more, but will keep praying and believing that the time will quickly come when I can live more normally and be able to enjoy even the simple things of life more than I do now. I am grateful for all the service my family offers me. It is humbling to ask for help when needed, or prayers when needed. I know that I will be better and stronger because of this. I am thankful for my challenges, but am ready to move on and to feel good and less pain once again. I am thankful for my Savior, for the Atonement and always knowing that I can rely on Him to lift me up on the days that I can barely lift myself up ( spiritually,emotionally and sometimes physically). I can always count on Him to be there for me, to listen and to be my best friend. I love Him and my Heavenly Father with all my heart. I know that they have a plan for me. I thank them for sending my family to me. I couldn't have asked for a better, more loving,selfless, dedicated family than the one I have. They have the patience of Job with me. They have been asked to go thru a lot on my behalf and never once have they complained about the service they render. I love them with my whole heart. I know that they believe that one day I will be able to do the things with them that I desire to do, but they are patient with me in the mean time. It isn't easy being a husband or children to me, but they love me unconditionally inspite of things and my heart is full of gratitude for them. I love my extended family with all my heart. They too have had to put up with a lot and still love me unconditionally. Same goes for my friends, who sometimes know me better than I know myself! I love them dearly and are thankful for them.
I am thankful for this blog, it allows me to have a journal and to be able to share it with those whom I care about so very much. Thank you for not judging me. For accepting me, faults and all. Thank you for taking the time to read and support our family and our adventures, smiles, hurts and just our plain silliness at times! Know that you are loved and thought of all the time.
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